Wrong Fruit / Small and Sulfurous / The Big Cloud

3 fictions.

Wrong Fruit

The grocer came running after me. “Stop, sir!”

I stopped. “What’s the problem?”

“I’m sorry, sir. It was my mistake. I gave you the wrong fruit.”

“The wrong fruit?” The grocer was rummaging in my bag of groceries. He found one of the fruits I’d just bought and pulled it out.

“Yes, sir, the wrong fruit.” The grocer held the fruit up. “I was terribly careless. This fruit wasn’t meant for you. It’s wrong. All wrong. I’m very, truly sorry, sir. It won’t happen again.”

“I don’t understand,” I said. “How was it wrong?”

“I’ll show you, sir. Look closely.”

The grocer cut through the skin of the fruit and pulled it open with both hands. He held it up for me to look inside. I looked, and saw myself there, inside, being treated like a criminal. There was me, and a judge, and a warden, and the judge was remanding me to the warden’s custody. As this was happening, I was cursing and condemning the judge. I showed no remorse whatsoever. The whole scene was suspended in a kind of murky, putrid light.

“This is appalling,” I said.

“I know, sir. I’m very sorry. This fruit was clearly intended for someone else. It’s my mistake entirely. It won’t happen again, sir, I assure you.”

“I should hope not. But who would deserve a fruit such as this?”

“Oh, sir, that’s not something for a respectable and upstanding member of the community such as yourself to concern himself with. Please, don’t dwell on the matter. You would only be degrading yourself.”

I thought that was the most sensible thing anyone had said to me all day. I went home and never thought about it again.